Call Day

In the church body I being to the Lutheran Church Missouri-Synod (LCMS) Call Day is an annual event at our two Seminaries in St. Louis and Fort Wayne. Call Day is when students completing their studies formally receive their first ministry placement and assignment, which we also refer to as a “call.” Call Day at Concordia Seminary in St. Louis on April 30th was of particular interest and importance to me this year. This is because the two vicars (pastoral interns) Walker and Jonas that I work with at Bethel in Dallas formally received their calls to serve as pastors at Bethel with an expected ordination date of September 28^th.

Jonas, originally from The Congo and Walker, originally from Brazil are not just co-workers to me at Bethel, they are dear friends. We have spent the last four years working together and learning from each other. I am truly a better person to have them be a part of my life. Therefore, I had call day circled on my calendar for several months, I was not going to miss this celebration for the world!

Except, I did miss it!

I had a scheduled flight for 11:30 out of Dallas that day that would put me in St. Louis by 1:15 that afternoon, plenty of time to not only make the 7pm service, but to also make the 4pm reception. I was so looking forward to sharing those occasions with these dear brothers and others who helped shape their formation. Yet as I headed to the airport, I got notice of a delay till 12:40 for the flight, as an electric storm had descended on Dallas, causing all planes to not be able to land or take off. As I arrived at the airport, I saw flight after flight either be delayed or cancelled out right. The storm ended up lasting about four hours and it was strange walking around Love Field seeing no flights taking off or landing during that time.

By the time the storms ended, and the flight ban was lifted it was after 4, but there was still a flight at 5:15 that would allow me to maybe get there in time for the service, but alas that flight was, of course, delayed till 6:30, sealing my fate as to being there in person. In the midst of this I was trying hard to “hug my cactus” and not let these realities outside anyone’s control bring me down.

Even so, I eventually started down the dark path of a pity-party.

As I watched the service being live-streamed from my plane seat I thought about how I was letting the guys down and all that I was missing out on not being there in person.

Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that I was making it about me.

Instead of celebrating for Jonas and Walker, knowing that they would understand that they had my full support, I focused on what I was missing out on, the attention I wasn’t getting, etc. Then I got to the airport in St. Louis and of course my bag was not there, it had ended up in Milwaukee as part of the near half-dozen different flights and boarding passes that I had gone through that day. By then my pity party had reached its full peak; even though several people had texted to see how I was doing, nothing seemed to help. I even questioned the sincerity of one person’s prayers on my behalf. To her credit she called me out threatening to take back the prayers and telling me to get over myself.

It was at that point that I realized the depths to which I had stooped. I apologized for being a selfish dope and received much needed forgiveness. Then my attitude started to improve, I was able to text my congratulations to Jonas and Walker and they were very gracious in receiving it as they thanked me for all my support of them over the years. The reality was they did not need me there, this day was about them, and more importantly Jesus, who called them to follow him in this awesome way.

It certainly was not about me.

This is something that I unfortunately need to be reminded of often. When I went to the counter to get my rental car, the worker greeted me and asked me how my day was going. I mentioned that I had been delayed several hours in Dallas to which he replied, “oh then you really have been hugging your cactus.” I was of course wearing my hug your cactus t-shirt all day; apparently, I had not been in front of enough mirrors that day to remember what the shirt actually means.

To hug your cactus is to die to self or “ego.” On Call Day my ego needed to be noticed and approved of, instead of taking a back seat to others. When that did not happen, I sadly made the day about me and had to take some personal responsibility for taking that out on others. So, ironically missing Call Day ended up being the best thing for me and my long-term growth after all. Jonas, Walker, and I will have other opportunities to celebrate their accomplishments together.