12 Steps: When Nothing Else Works
Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become your habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
–Truism from Unknown Source
The following is meant to merely be an introduction to the “spirit of the twelve steps.” For, if I have learned anything from the steps or from my friends in recovery, they’re never something that can be learned in a single sitting. I have spent several years steeped in them, like a blessed cup of tea. Yet, I am only beginning to understand the beauty of the twelve steps. In short, their very design is meant to be cyclical, not as linear a progression as a superficial understanding of the name, twelve steps, might imply.
We are not ascending steps to spiritual nirvana; no, it’s more like descending steps into the musty basement of our souls. As Rohr has always taught, “the way up is the way down.” Again, he says, “before the truth sets you free, it tends to make you miserable.”
The reason we at “Hug Your Cactus” are so insistent on using the twelve steps and the wisdom contained in the practices of A.A. and other recovery meetings is that it is paradoxically the most ruthless and welcoming place on the planet. I will never forget attending a chip ceremony where all of those who received their chip were so brutally honest about both their own failures and the failures of others; yet, nothing scandalized them, nothing made them clutch their pearls or gasp in disbelief. By now, they’d heard it all. No sin, whether of terrible quality or quantity was new to the group.
If I had to summarize why I enjoy learning about everything related to recovery ministries and why I enjoy working with addicts on a regular basis, it all comes back to a singular truth.
We are all spiritually powerless, however, and not just those physically addicted to a substance, which is why I address this book to everyone. Alcoholics just have their powerlessness visible for all to see. The rest of us disguise it in different ways, and overcompensate for our more hidden and subtle addictions and attachments, especially our addiction to our way of thinking.
–Richard Rohr, “Breathing under Water” (emphasis author’s)
A.A. and the church (when healthy and functioning properly) are the only two organizations on the planet that define its membership based on the failures and powerlessness of its members. A.A. is a group of alcoholics in search of sobriety and sanity. The church was founded by Jesus to be a place where sinners can receive healing and forgiveness.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
–James 5:16a (NLT)
All of us have been humbled by life enough to accept the reality that we are not the spiritual version of Mensa; we gather together over mediocre coffee because we know we’re a hot mess in need of love and acceptance. So, here’s a quick poem about the recovery process, an invitation to experience real forgiveness and real healing, an opportunity to receive the greatest gift of the gospel, rescue from ourselves, from our own darkness and neediness, from our worst impulses and compulsions. I pray this blesses you today.
At the end of our rope—
We want to give up hope,
When we lose our bearings,
In the size of failings,
Leave us white knuckling,
Our accuser chuckling,
At the absurdity,
Of our sobriety,
Healing, a mystery,
Life, contradictory.
Who we were, history,
What we’ll have, victory,
Where we forget worry,
When we escape hurry,
Why, because of His love,
How, by breath from above.
Never not an addict,
But never only one,
Ne’er one thing, always two,
Ne’er alone, always three,
Ne’er empty, always free.