Knowing & Breathing

Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.

–Contemplative Prayer from Richard Rohr based on Psalm 46:10

We continue our cactus journey by diving deeper into this simple but beautiful formative prayer. Make sure to read the first part of this series, “Stillness: Overcoming the monkey mind.”

Be still and know that I am.

More directly, we mean, “Be still and know that I AM, YAHWAEH.” We are invited into relationship with the one through whom existence exists, our breath of life, our light of lights (Romans 4:17; Colossians 1:15-17; Acts 17:25). Some theorize that the formal name of our Lord, Yaheweh, is meant to simulate that first breath of life, God breathing out, man taking his first breath in.

More than anything, the name, I AM, is a name of encounter. Moses stumbles upon holy ground and a burning bush and all he can do is take off his shoes. Isaiah is so overwhelmed by the scene of His True King sitting on His throne that he laments, “woe to me.”

This stage is about covenant and relationship. We embrace the reality that God was there all along and we never noticed:

…that they should seek God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Though he is actually not far from each one of us (Acts 17:27).

Often, this encounter is right after a difficult situation or teaching. Sadly, we usually lack the discipline and trust to make it through to the other side. This is why we emphasize “hugging the cactus long enough to gain some humility.” There are no shortcuts in spiritual formation and our greatest seasons of growth often follow difficult wilderness wandering seasons.

Jesus responds with “I am” several times, but none so powerful as to fulfill the deepest longings of the woman at the well:

“I know that the Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you AM HE” (John 4:25-26).

In short, this stage ends our endless search, the painful longing and looking that encapsulates so many great songs like “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” by U2, “Semi-charmed kind of life (I want something else to get me through this)” by Third Eye Blind, and “Desperado” by the Eagles. Our endless search paradoxically inverts and becomes a resting in the blessedly infinite.

Be still and know.

Now we’re getting deeper. This stage is all about the two-fold knowing: knowing God and knowing oneself. Paul says it this way (notice the progression again from childish to mature):

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12-13).

In Hebrew the word for “know” is Yadah. It’s also the word used for biblically “knowing” a spouse and having kids. It’s a word about intimacy and relationship. Often, we Westerners reduce knowing to mere facts and figures, forgetting and forgoing the deeper relational knowing. Here, we begin to learn to merely be present, to be fully embraced and known as we actually are—not the mask and persona who we pretend to be in public. There’s no AKA’s in this kind of intimacy, no alias’, no need for alibis.

This knowing is expansive and embracing. It’s the feeling you get when you really soak in the beauty of nature—a beautiful sunset, a field of wildflowers, the hovering flight of a hummingbird. It’s the feeling you get when a friend hears your struggles and doesn’t judge or rush to fix them. It’s the feeling you get when you snuggle your sick kid to sleep. It’s the feeling you get when you look up at the Milky Way. So, let’s try what many call a breath prayer—a two-part prayer meant to be uttered as we breath in and out, in and out (note these pairs can be prayed repeatedly or in succession).

Breathe in grace & love.
Breathe out failure & fear.

I want to be known.
I want to know Him.

I feel warm & safe.
So, I drop my mask.

I am your child,
Forgiven & loved.

I am still,
I am content.